The End, Yet, We've Only Just Begun...;)

~love life, engage in it, give it all you've got. love it with a passion, because life truly does give back, many times over, what you put into it~
Maya Angelou

And here we are, the final week of class! This has been an experience:) I have learned a lot, and gained so much. I hope all of you have as well.
My personal assessments...some have changed, others have not.
My psychological assessment has remained an 8. I had worked very hard on this aspect of my life before started this class-in fact, my journey led me to take this class to gain more insight. I've been seeing a fabulous psychotherapist for the last year, after being put through sheer hell with my oldest son. I worked very hard to deal with what he had done to his unsuspecting family, and after about 8 months, went from weekly visits to monthly visits. I am doing well here. This class has helped me "let go" of even more of the pain he caused, and be able to move on with his decisions to take over and basically run his own, lost, life. I went to the ends of the earth and spent 10's of thousands of dollars to assist him, but quitting highschool and moving in with dad to "do drugs" won out. He's almost 18, and I did all I could. I was advised by many to "let it go". Hard, but the pain he put on my younger kids was not worth any more fight. Long story. I am healthy here though. Conflicted at times, but have come to terms.
Spiritually, I have moved from a 5 in week 3, to an 8. I have rediscovered my spiritaul self, and enjoy my time of meditation and ritual. It has calmed me and brought me great peace. My head is clearer, and I see each day for what it is, instead of simply plowing through my schedules and to do lists.
Physically, I went from a 7 to a 9. Thank you Ms Jillian Michaels for kicking my tail each day as I come off of a terrible injury this past winter. My pinched nerve had me flat on my back from November to January, with major surgery scheduled. Physical therapy got me back on my feet, and I started a workout program with a right arm that looked like spaghetti. Two months later, I am doing serious workouts-30 Day Shred and more, and busting my tail, strong as an ox, pumped for more. I am even boxing again! I dropped the 10 pound I had gained from my "flat on my back eating junk food" injury, and lost 7 plus inches. My heart rate is strong, my endurance is great, and my muscle tone is back:) I will challenge you all to pushups!
I set goals to exercise daily, taking one day off a week, and recorded all of it for motivation. I practiced moments of silence and gratitude daily and learned to enjoy the peace of my mind and heart. I have discussed this class in great detail with my psychotherapist and developed more ways to find my peace through meditation.
I have found a person that I once was, and with it came a new peace, a new joy in life, and better coping skills, This class help me accountable to this goals, and I so appreciate that. This, all together has been a great and rewarding experience.
I wish you all the very best:)
If you would like to continue this conversation or relationship outside of class, you are welcome to find me on facebook:) "Sami Bee" in Durham NC
I wish you all the best, and I hope to hear more about you and your journey in the near future!
Blessed Bee!

Final project, Yet the Journey has Just Begun:)

Why is it important for health and wellness professionals to develop psychologically, spiritually, and physically?

It is important for health and wellness professionals to develop psychologically, spiritually and physically because to truly “teach” and “motivate” those around us, we must truly “walk the walk.” Our beliefs must be naturally apparent to those that surround us and look to us for advice and support. Practicing, and using the tools that we have learned, such as loving kindness and a calm, subtle mind, will lead us to a truer sense of self, and that will be conveyed to those that look to us for assistance. We must be able to touch lives around us with a sense of peace, understanding, and love.

In my journey to help others, I find that I must work continuously on all of these traits.

How have you assessed your health in each domain? How do you score your wellness spiritually, physically, and psychologically?

In my psychological life, I need to continue to work on many things, most coming from my past. I need to focus on the many positive aspects of my life, learn from those negative aspects of the past, and continue to “let go.” I have come a very long way, but I still experience moments of anger over past events that I have absolutely no control over. Learning to “let go” of such anger is not an easy thing to do, but the results of doing so are amazing! By doing so, I have found a calmness and a freedom from things that poisoned my life for years and years. And with this movement from anger, I have found more happiness and love then I could have ever imagined possible. In this area, I plan to continue my work with my psychotherapist and focus on my meditations that allow me to “rid” myself of bad memories, thoughts and feelings. I would currently score my psychological health as an 8, on a scale of 1-10.

My spiritual life is constantly deepening as I learn to forgive and move on in my life. My spiritual beliefs have always been very deep, and I base my daily life upon those beliefs. My belief system is very much based on karma, and the idea of “energies”. I believe that the energy I give out is equal to the energy that I take in. I believe strongly that the love I give is equal to the love that I receive. This balance of energy is very important to me, and becomes more important each day. I had some very hard lessons to learn about this aspect of my life, and I have made MAJOR changes in how I let these energies flow within my life. As a child, I was taught that I had to “earn” love; it was not something freely given. For many, many, years, I spent all of my time and energy trying to feel a sense of love and acceptance from those around me, only to find my heart and soul broken, and my mind, and even body, abused. I spent more time trying to please others, and be what others wanted me to be, only to feel like a constant failure. It took a very long time and a lot of tragedy within my life to gain the strength and wisdom to be able to remove myself from these horrors. When I was able to remove myself from this prison of dysfunction, I found that every aspect of my life changed. From that point, my entire life changed, and I gained love, acceptance, happiness and joy. My energies changed, as did the people and situations surrounding me, and I found the true meaning of love. I will continue to work on the love that I put out into the world. I will focus on the pureness of the love that I have learned to feel, and I will mindfully project that into the world around me, each day. In the spiritual aspect of my wellness, I would again, give myself a score of 8.

My physical wellness is rather solid, and has been for quite some time. Good health and physical wellness is something that is a major focus in my life and in my profession. I work in the fitness/diet/wellness field, and I absolutely MUST “walk my words”. I must be an example in all aspects of my lifestyle, physically and nutritionally. I just experienced spine injury this past winter, and have worked VERY hard to gain back my muscle tone and strength in the last months, and would very proudly score my physical wellness at a 9. I am working on making it a ten!

Goal Development

I continue to set goals in the physical aspect of my life, and continue to educate myself in all matters in my field. My new goals in this facet of my life are to try new things, perhaps barre class, and to continue to enjoy my healthy body even as I age. I turn 50 in two years, and suffer from back issues, as well as easy weight gain. (A family trait) I have set very specific goals that are daily, short term, and long term, and I keep track of my progress through journaling. I motivate myself with constant education, and I refuse to let my body “get old”. I constantly push myself to try new things and to be involved in an active lifestyle and community.

Spiritually, I would like to become more involved with a broader community of people with similar beliefs. I was extremely involved with such a community when I lived in Maryland, but have not found such a community in my new city. My spiritually is something that has become very personal and private to me, but I do miss sharing it with others. My goal would be to find that community.

My goal psychologically is to stay on track with my current ongoing therapy sessions. After a terrible event 2 years ago, I went into therapy to make sense of some things that had a huge, negative, affect on my life, yet were very much out of my control. I was able to see things clearly rather quickly, yet continued with the therapy because I had experienced an incredible amount of betrayal and pain. I have overcome these challenges, and am stronger then ever. However, I will continue my now monthly visits simply because the process has been such a wonderful and healthy experience. I have gained wisdom and peace in this process.

Practices for personal health

To foster further growth in my personal health, I plan to stay more in tune with what I have experienced and learned. Spiritually, I will continue to seek out and spend time with people that have positive attitudes about their lives. I plan to continue my spiritual journey with mediation practice, and lots of reading on the subject. I am also considering continuing my blog, but through a different format. Psychologically, I plan to continue with my therapy, and also continue to write in my journal of gratitude. I find that spending time writing about the positive aspect of my life each day-even for just a brief moment-helps me to find, and appreciate, my blessings. Physically, I plan to continue challenging my body and appreciating the workings of my body. I will be working with new clients in months to come, and embarking on a new nutritionally related business venture, so these new endeavors will keep me learning and moving forward.

Commitment

I think that my progress will be easy to assess in the coming months. I have been on a serious journey for quite some time, and I am quite comfortable with the goals that I have set and met in the past. My current goals are much like the ones I have already met-they are just taking things to the next level. I believe in setting many small, obtainable goals, with the larger goal as a prize. Smaller goals, or steps, are easier to reach and bring a success that provides motivation. Each small goal leads me to the higher goal, with little chance of failure or exhaustion. My journals, blogs, and tracking calendars will inspire me, allow me to see my progress, and make it easy for me to set the next obtainable goals in my ever changing life.

My biggest strategy for success in health and wellness is to live each day to the fullest, to live within each moment, and find appreciation in the blessings that I have been given in the lifetime. I must breathe in each moment, feel the sun, or the moon, on my face, and know that my heart beats for one lifetime. I must make this life the very best that I can possibly be, and place that before me, as I interact with the world.

Practice, practice, practice...Unit 8

Ahhhh, here we are in unit 8:) We had done many exercises and meditation practices this semester, some were very long and distracting, others were motivating and peaceful. ALL of them taught me many things. I learned that my mind can be calmed, though my household may not necessarily follow suit. I learned that I actually LIKE my mind quiet and peaceful, and that my constant multi-tasking ways are not the best way to go through life. I also learned that while I DO enjoy having a calmer, more peaceful mind, I am suddenly aware of the constant chatter and noise created by many around me, and it bothers me! I used to go through my busy days in constant motion, with constant chatter in my head of what I need to do, what I can do, what if I did this, what if I did that...and the noise around me just mixed in. Now, with my calmer mind, I find myself cringing from the surrounding noise and wanting to just find a bit of peace. By the end of dinner time, I am mindfully DONE. I just want a peaceful evening! I no longer run myself from morning til night and fall into bed exhausted, but, instead, start my peaceful descent into night by relaxing, working in my garden, enjoying time in conversation, and taking walks. Did I mention that I have a 15 year old that NEVER stops talking?????? Or, the fact that I have three teenagers that like to chatter on about their lives, their friends, their TV shows, their web experiences-non-stop??? I love that they talk to me, of course, but one can only handle so much talk about WWE, hair color techniques, and the NFL draft! (ok, the draft thing-I'm in on that one;))
My favorite exercises in the journey have been week 7's guided mediation, which I blogged about last week, and the exercise from page 144-145 of Integral Health by Dascher.
I loved the exercise from the book because I controlled it. I wrote mantras for each section, and repeated them throughout. I felt very calm and peaceful when I was done, and I was able to monitor the time that I spent, which lowered my anxiety. I plan to use this regularly, and I'm even searching for an awesome mediation pillow to add to my fitness/wellness room:)
 Exercise 7 was my second favorite. I sat in the sun, thawed my frozen bones, smelled the flowers around me and wore headphones to drone out the noise of my sons playing basketball in the driveway. I found my wise person-not an easy task-and I will share: It was George Harrison, as in The Beatles. I come from a very troubled, dark, abusive, shattered background. For a long time, I thought I was damaged and crazy. Years and years of therapy, eating disorders and more abusive relationships then I can count, and I realized one day-after moving far, far, away-that it wasn't me. When I got away from toxic family, my entire life was different. Years of being told I imagined things, made up things, told lies, damaged things-all simply went away. I found myself surrounded by wonderful people who thought I was loving, honest, compassionate, hard working, intelligent and normal. When I visited family, it all came back- to them, I was crazy, horrible, stupid, trash. It was an instant recognition that led me right back into therapy to be sure it was real. And it was. The anger I felt was massive, the relief was even greater. I learned to move away from 45 years of craziness-which, by the way, still goes on without my presence-miles and miles away. Point of this is-sorry-I made it through my childhood by listening to music. All the time. The Beatles became my family-they taught me about life and love, hope and peace. They are in my blood, and they bring me a warmness that my family has never offered. It may sound crazy-but it's a survival tactic that worked in positive ways.
So, I sought out George. He's a peaceful, wise man. The words to his songs bring me a feeling of calmness, and he always was "who he was", and never some rock start image. I felt peace. I may revisit this meditation again, and in doing so, revisit George.
These exercises have given me peace, calmness, and insight, and I have seen the way they have touched me, and in turn, I have touched others. I think about loving kindness more and more each day, and try, mindfully, to share that with others through my daily journey. This will definitely help me in the future.
On an ending note, when George Harrison passed in November of 2001, he left the world in peace and love; His last words are the best last words I've ever heard:
"Love one another"

Peace:)
Sami

In Calmness...Unit 7

I really enjoyed this exercise! I have not been too keen on many of this guided meditations, as I find them a bit long and distracting. However, I thoroughly enjoyed this one.
I did this exercise on my deck. I had spent most of Mother's Day cleaning and replanting on my westward facing deck, enjoying the sunshine after a VERY long and frozen winter, so sitting here in the sunshine, surrounded by 85 degree breezes, made this exercise even more relaxing and meaningful.
I found my "wise" person deep within my soul. This was not easy to do! Perhaps it is my upbringing-full of craziness and drama, bigotry and ignorance, lack of truth and mind games-that made finding this person so difficult. When I found him, I instantly felt comforted. The white lights that fell upon me absolutely filled me with warmth and peace. I left this exercise feeling very calm.
As I have stated in other blog posts, finding the quiet time to practice these exercises has been difficult. The results, however, in finding the time to practice, have been fantastic. I am finding it easier to make this a priority in my life, and I have found a new calm, a new way of shutting my mind off and just accepting some peace within my mind. I plan to stay with this time of meditation, even though I don't plan to use guided meditations as used in this class. Instead, I plan to use some of the meditations that I have used in the past, and those that I continue to explore with my therapist. This are important to me because they HAVE led me to a rediscovered peace and calmness-I had this years ago, and I had lost it. When I lost this sense of calmness and meditation, I wandered back into stress and sometimes, chaos. I can easily see that now. I do not want to revisit that kind of living.
"One cannot lead another where one has not gone himself", is a very true statement. It is important that one has empathy and understanding to the life and issues of a person they are attempting to lead. In my case, I plan to work within the field of fitness and weight management, along with dealing with those who have issues with eating disorders. In my opinion, no amount of education in the world can possibly teach one how to deal with eating disorder patients. It is a mental nightmare that makes little sense, and has little reason involved with it. I suffered from such disorders for many years, and while I can empathize, understand, and feel compassion for those who suffer, I have yet to find a doctor, or a book, that can make logical medical sense out of the disorder. Having been there, I can understand the confusion, the lack of "making sense", and the incredibly feeling that no one can possibly understand the strange, constant obsessions and rituals that go along with these disorders. My history of this makes me more compassionate, more understanding, and better equipped to deal with stories and issues of eating disorders and what they do to the mind, body and soul. It is important that we not only have education and training, but a true sense of what our clients have been through-their fears, their joys, their worries.
It is important that I find continued peace within myself in order to pass that along to others in a healthy, mindful, complete manner.

Peace:) (Unit 6)

Ahhhh....This was by far my favorite exercise. Maybe I am not cut out for the guided exercises. I loved this one, and having my own words and mantra led me to finding peace in my mind and body.
I did this exercise after a long physical workout, on an early Sunday afternoon. I went into my workout exhausted, thinking about a long paper I had to write, wishing I could just blow off homework and spend the day in my garden. My workout was long and hard (Thank you, Ms Jillian Michaels), and my brain was boggled. When I completed my workout, I decided that, because I was alone in the house for once, I would do this exercise. I was able to calm my mind, and refresh myself. When I was done my meditation, I felt recharged, powerful, calm, and my mind had cleared quite a bit.
I like have my mantra in my head, and silence in the room. Too much conversation-as with the guided mp3's we had previously used-is just extra static in my head. I like being about to focus on my thoughts, and not think about what is going to be said to me next. That, I think, created anxiety for me.
I like this quiet time, though hard to find. I need to find more of it. The outcome is a fresher me, and that is good for everyone. I have, in recent months, set up goals for myself that have really pushed me mentally and physically, and I have achieved them. My schedule, however, has been hectic and exhausting. I cannot possibly find more hours in the day, so I need to at least find a peaceful moment in each day to take some time with myself and recharge, refresh, rejuvenate, and find a grounding.

The Subtle Mind

I found this exercise much more relaxing and enjoyable then the Loving Kindness exercise. I enjoyed the way the exercise was explained, and then there was no discussion or talking through the exercises. This left me more relaxed, I was able to focus more on my breathing and the sounds of the ocean and just kind of "float" into calmness. Last week's Loving kindness exercise had me frustrated-the voiceovers were too often, and the voice itself made me agitated and anxious.
It's very important to gain spiritual wellness, calmness, and peace for the benefits of total health. Focusing on breath is important not only in active physical exercise, but also in calming, peaceful, meditative exercises. It brings us focus and calms the mind. Losing clutter and noise from the mind helps us release anxiety and stress, and gives us a more positive outlook. This provides us with a clear mind to go through the stresses of life, and our daily activities, with a stronger sense of being about to deal, and handle things much better.

Unit 4 Mental Workouts

I have done other exercises like this one in the past. I did, however, find this exercise to be very long, and the sounds and voice almost put me to sleep. Halfway through, I started to lose focus and think about the things going on in my house, my schedule for the day, etc, which was frustrating. I tend to be a person that thrives on "doing" and being actively engaged, and I find relaxation in that manner. It is hard for me to "shut" out the world for periods longer then 10 minutes, unless I am going to sleep. This left me tired, a bit frazzled for time, and not feeling very peaceful due to that fact. The MP3 suggested, at the end, that one do this twice a day. If I spent an hour on this daily, I would surely not find peace, but simply lose an hour of my schedule. I have definitely found peace, and loving-kindness in shorter exercises. And, those left me feeling more awake and positive.
Mental workouts are important to one's overall well being. They give our mind time to move away from noise and into a feeling of contemplation and thoughtfulness.